Impossible to Ignore
by Jadeskirt
Summary: After good-girl Claire meets bad-boy John in school detention on a Saturday, she can not find her way back to her good-girl behavior. John has started a wave of change in her, and it is crashing in for full. Mind the rating. If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
1. Chapter 1

Claire rolled over in her pink sheets and looked at the clock on her night stand. It was half past one. Tomorrow was Thursday, and she still had not seen John since they had said good bye on Saturday.

Why wasn't he at school? Was he sick? Or did he just skip school because of her? Maybe he didn't want to see her again?

She had expected to see him on Monday, and was duly disappointed when she didn't. Deep down she had expected him to call her on Sunday. But of course he hadn't. Why would he? John was not that type of guy, not that type of man...

She closed her eyes and rolled over on her back. Her hand came up to her face and caressed her lips. She could still feel him on her lips from when she had kissed his neck. His skin had felt hot, almost like he had a fever. The scent of him had been warm and undefined. It had felt intoxicating, and created a strange hunger inside. It had made her feel something she had not felt before. Like when he had spoken to her about her being a virgin, about her notion of a white wedding.

He had looked straight at her with those dark compelling eyes of his, and it had felt like he saw straight through her soul. She remembered his voice, dark and husky:

"_Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off… hoping to God your parents don't walk in?"_

In that moment she had forgotten that there were other people in the room, all she had seen and heard was John. No one had ever spoken to her in that way. Then he had continued:

"_Over the panties, no bra..." _and he had gazed down on her breasts like he was picturing them, like he could see them, and shamefully she had wished he could.

Claire rolled over on her stomach, and pressed her hips hard into the mattress. God, how she wished she was with John right now. She wished she had his hands all over her, touching her everywhere, making her do things she had never done... She would let him, she would not say no, -if only she could see him again.

She remembered their kiss. It had been brief, but it had held everything she had hoped for in a kiss. It had been soft, yet hard. His mouth had been soft and gentle, yet it had felt a little demanding. Like kissing him had her promising him more. She knew he would never say he wanted anything from her, yet she could feel it in his kiss. This was a guy, a man, who would not be satisfied by just holding her hand.

It scared her and at the same time, though she was unwilling to admit it, it turned her on.

It was Thursday at school.

By the third period, Claire was in a daze. She was sure she had caught a glimpse of John at campus as she was walking to class, but she had only seen the back of his head. It had made her cheeks flush and her heart start pumping like she was running.

Was it him? Oh, God, it had to be him. Would he look for her? Would he find her? For the whole period her mind was occupied with plotting how she could accidently run into John. When the period ended she could hardly wait to get out of the classroom to execute her clever plan. It turned out she had wasted her time.

John's eyes looking straight at her was the first she saw when she stepped out of the classroom. He was standing at the end of the hallway with two guys who looked like they were older. She had not seen them at school before and she wasn't sure they went there, but then again she had never noticed any of John's friends … or John.

Suddenly she felt a nervous pang in her gut at the thought of him coming over and talking to her in the hallway. She didn't want anyone to see her with him. She definitely did not want anyone to see her feel the way she felt about him.

Seeing him and his friends had reminded her how far apart their lives were. She was the rich good-girl. He was the rebel beast with no future.

On Saturday everything had seemed so different; all boundaries had been blurred, and in all her dreams and fantasies John had felt such a natural part of her. Not like the outcast she was looking at now, in his ragged clothes, unkempt hair, all tall and scary-looking with dark, wolf-like eyes.

She quickly walked past him, trying not to look at him. But he was impossible to ignore.

He was wearing one of her earrings, the diamond studs that her parents had given her on her 16th birthday the year before. The earring she had given him on Saturday. As she past him she could hear him turn to follow her. She sped up and quickly went down the stairs to the toilet area.

Not many students used the toilets on that block, and part of her knew that if he caught up with her there might be a chance that no one would see it. If not, she could hide in the girl's bathroom and compose herself.

She startled when he suddenly was by her side. He grabbed her by the arm, slammed the door to the men's room open, and dragged her in. It was empty, but it smelled a mixture of urine and chlorine. He pushed her up against the white tiled wall, and she could not help but to think of how dirty that wall was against her nice clothes.

"Are you trying to ignore me, Claire?"

His face was close to hers, his dark eyes looking directly at her. She could see green specs within the hazel color, and his irises were framed by tar-black circles. It was like looking into a dense forest, knowing that a wild beast was hiding in the dark. That it was sizing her up, waiting to pounce.

Her heart was beating hard, and her chest heaved so she could hear herself breathe, and so could he. His glance shifted from her face to her lavender blouse. He lifted his hand and traced a finger along the edge of the blouse, touching her skin ever so lightly, yet the feeling of heat between them was so palpable she felt like her skin broke out in a sweat wherever he touched her.

He looked up again, his eyes had darkened, and the beast was ready to pounce. He kissed her.

His warm, moist lips engulfed her mouth. He was experienced and demanding, and his tongue would not take no for an answer. His left hand was behind her back, kneading her against him. His right hand was resting just above her left breast, and slowly it sled down and cupped her breast. It made her break from the kiss and gasp out loud.

John's lips didn't stop. His wet mouth and tongue moved down her jaw, onto her earlobe, and down her neck. She grasped his hair with both hands. She wanted him to take her top off, to slide his tongue over her naked breasts. Her entire skin was on fire, aching to get closer to him.

John's mouth and tongue seized hers again as his other hand claimed her back, her bum, and her thigh. He lifted her knee up, and pressed his hips into hers. He groaned into her mouth. She could feel something big and solid through the light fabrics of their clothes. She grinded herself against it, moved her hips so it would hit her right. She was aching for the pressure of him. He was grinding his hips against her. They both glided into a unison rhythm, breathing into each other mouths, moving faster and faster. She moaned.

Suddenly he pulled away from her.

"I've got to stop, Claire. I'm about to come in my pants."

He moved over to the sink, and spritzed a little water in his face, combing through his hair with his hands. She was still trying to catch her breath. He gave a short laugh, looking at her in the mirror.

"This is not what I had in mind when I pulled you in here. You know that?"

Claire nodded her head. She walked over to the mirror. She did not recognize herself.

The girl in the mirror had messed up hair, her make-up was smudged, her lips swollen, and her eyes were glassy. Her composed former self seemed to have been rubbed away, even the skin on her neck and chest was blazed. It was a frightening sight, yet she still wanted more. She was still aching to be with him, and a shameful part of her wished that he had come. She wanted to hear him come.

"John" she said and paused.

"Yes, Claire?"

"There's a party on tomorrow. It's supposed to be really big, friends of friends. I would really like it if you'd come."

"I would really like it if I'd come. We should come together." He winked at her. Claire rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious!"

"So am I!" He gave her a look.

"I know what party you mean, Claire. I'll find you there."

The next moment there were two hard knocks on the door. She jumped, John didn't.

"That's my buddies. I've got to go."

"Tell me they have not been outside that door the entire time?"

"How else do you think no one came in here?"

"Oh, my God, they must think I am a total slut." She buried her face in her manicured hands.

"Don't worry about it. Your secret is safe with them." John gave her a wink and a smile, and disappeared out the door.

Claire stood glued to the floor watching the closed door for almost a minute before she realized where she was and snuck out. She tiptoed over to the girl's bathroom, praying that it was empty, and it was. She was in the middle of refreshing her make when the tears came. She tried to wipe them away, but they just kept on coming.

She felt so ashamed. She was mortified at what she had done in the men's room with John, and knowing that others also knew was more than she could bear. Was she a slut? She certainly acted like one. But how could that be, she had not so much as kissed a boy before she met John, and now she was doing second base in the men's room? John was not good for her.

Then she remembered how strong his arms had felt, how his hair had touched her face when they kissed, and she gasped. Instantly she saw herself in the mirror, and this time it was different. Her face was streamed with tears, but her lips had parted, and her eyes looked like they were concealing a blazing fire within. She looked magical.

Claire knew what to do. She would call her parents, tell them that she had gotten sick at school, and that's why she had been away from class. Then she would lock herself in her bedroom getting ready for the party, and miraculously recover from illness in the morning. She would go to school, act as nothing, and meet John at the party.

It still made her cringe when she thought if John's friends, but her friends would never talk to his friends, so in that way she was safe. Besides no one would ever believe it; her friends knew her well. They knew she was not that kind of girl, and a week ago she would have sworn the same.


	2. Chapter 2

That night was worse than any other night. She could not fall asleep. She kept thinking of John and the party, and Friday could not come soon enough. If she could have forced herself to sleep, she would have, -right away.

The plan with her parents had worked out fine. Claire had never skipped school before, but when it came to lying to her parents she was no novice. Stating illness had been the best plan, it allowed her to fully be by herself with no calls and no questions. Only her mom had come up with two sandwiches for dinner.

Unable to sleep Claire was lying on her bed with her walk-man, listening to a tape of pop chart hits that she had recorded from the radio. She was wondering what John would listen to. She had a feeling it would not be the same as her. It dawned on her that she hardly knew anything about John.

She knew he had older friends, that he smoked weed, drank beer, and had a messed up home situation. That was about it. Yet she felt she knew him. She knew he acted tougher than he actually was, but she also knew he was tough. He had a sensitive side, but he could choose to conceal it. He had an element of darkness, and she was afraid that he would lose control and do something bad. She sensed that he was capable of bad, but she also sensed that he was capable of restraining himself, and she did not know which part of him to trust.

She knew he would never intentionally hurt her, she was sure of that, and he would protect her no matter what. He certainly was capable of protecting her. In a wild forest John would be the wildest beast. Would he ever hurt her? Her gut feeling told her he would, but she could not see how.

Then again, she had a strange feeling that it might be worth it.

In the dark of her bedroom her thoughts went back to John and her in the men's room; the cold wall against her back, his hand lifting her knee. She could feel his bulge pressed against her, feel the need to have him closer, to have him inside.

Safe in her room, on the covers of her bed, Claire pulled up her knees and spread her legs. She pictured John on top of her, breathing heavy and moaning into her ear. In her thoughts he had unbuttoned his pants and pulled her white cotton underwear to the side. He would enter her, and they would have that same rhythm they had in the men's room.

They would move faster and faster, and this time he would not pull away. She imagined how tight he would hold her, how heavy he would feel on top of her, what he would sound like when he came, how his body would jerk...

A load moan escaped her lips. It pierced right through the music in her ears, and she sat up with a jolt. She pulled off her headphones, listening for her parents' footsteps.

They didn't come. The house was quiet in the night. She curled up into a ball in embarrassment, and pulled the covers over her. She would not see John at the party tomorrow. If she saw him or his loser friends she would simply walk the other way. He would not do this to her.

The next day at school Claire did not see John anywhere. Part of her was disappointed and part of her felt relieved.

Even though she had so little sleep last night, she did not look tired. Instead she had a glow to her that made her friends make comments. Some thought she still had a fever after she had been ill, some just complimented her for her good looks. Some asked if she had changed her blusher or her foundation. Only one of the girls asked if she had met a boy, but Claire had just shook her head and smiled, and said she probably just had a really good night's sleep.

She was not ready to share anything about how she felt. She could not explain it, she could not defend it, and she certainly did not dare to tell a single soul that the boy she liked was John Bender. It would be social suicide.

She felt sick to her stomach at what she had done yesterday, at how she had behaved. She could hardly believe her own thoughts and fantasies. She was grateful she did not see John at school, yet she could not make herself stop looking for him. Was she under a spell, some kind of curse?

At home that afternoon, picking out what outfit to wear for the party while listening to the radio, she could not stop thinking of John. She was determined not to see him, yet whenever she looked at a garment her thoughts wondered to what he would think of it; if he would like it on her.

She imagined him sitting on her bed, looking at her as she changed outfits in front of him. He would smile and flirt, and his eyes would get that sweater look he sometimes had when he looked at her. She would act cute and coy, and change before him without him seeing anything more than what was proper; like the good girl she was.

Suddenly the embrace in the men's room flashed before her eyes. It shook her and left her breathless.

Claire sat down on her white fluffy stool in front of her make-up table. She took off her top and stared at herself in the mirror. Slowly she opened the top drawer and took out a scarlet red lipstick. She put it on, smacked her lips and pouted at her image.

On the mirror there were several plastic beads necklaces hanging. She took them down and draped them over her bare décolleté. She let her hands sensually caress her face and torso as she contemplated her own image.

"John" she murmured and let the beads play across her bra.

On the radio Madonna's _Crazy for You_ was playing, and she turned up the volume as she moved suggestively in front of the mirror.

Pretending that it was John looking at her; she slowly removed her bra and let the beads touch her nipples. Mesmerized with the sight at how they contracted from the touch of the beads; she almost jumped when the radio host disrupted her trance and announced the next song. It made her laugh out loud, embarrassed but excited.

Claire removed the lipstick and the beads. She put on her prettiest underwear, a knee long skirt, a boat neck blouse and her favorite boots. She was ready for the party. She was ready for John.

Her stomach was invaded by butterflies.

It was the biggest party she had ever attended. There were people everywhere. The music was pumping out of big speakers on the floor, and there were two guys with sunglasses who acted as DJs and took requests and made sure the music played without stop.

It was a big two story house. People were dancing on the living room floor, making out on the couch, sitting in the staircase, talking in the kitchen area, standing everywhere, -and everywhere you could hear people talking, laughing, screaming and shouting.

Claire and her group of friends had been handed a plastic cup each with something red and sticky as soon as they stepped over the threshold. They were among the youngest there, and Claire felt wide eyed and thrilled at everything she saw. Behind the glass doors to the second living room she could see more people dancing, and apparently there were even more people upstairs from what she had been told.

Claire did not normally drink, but she was sipping the red sweet and sticky stuff in her plastic cup with her friends. When _Maniac_ came on all her friends screamed and rushed her off to the dance floor.

She was really enjoying herself. She and her friends looked great and they had all the right moves on the dance floor. They were looking at cute guys and laughing. Claire was only going along pretending to be looking. Instead she was constantly on the lookout for John. She was also scouting for his friends; if she could see them that meant that John was probably not too far away. The problem was that apart from the two guys she had seen at school the other day, she didn't know who John was hanging with.

She made sure she was careful not to make it obvious that she was looking for anyone in particular, still just the thought of seeing John made her butterflies break out a riot in her stomach.

As the night progressed and still no sight of John or his two friends, she started to get a little restless. She had a curfew; she had never mentioned that to him, as curfews were taken for granted. However he did probably not have a curfew, and that was probably also taken for granted.

So what if he showed up too late and she had gone home? What if they didn't meet at all?

A wave of disappointment so strong she had never felt anything remotely like it washed over her. The mere thought of not seeing John made her body feel numb and her heart go cold.

At that moment he walked in the door.

He was greeted by a bunch of guys. They were throwing high-fives in the air and punching each other in the shoulders. John was immediately given a beer; he already had one in his hand and finished it in one go.

Claire was taken aback at how naturally John blended into the crowd. She had not seen him blend in anywhere before. This was apparently more his scene than it was hers; here he was among his peers. The sight was far from what she had expected, neither had she known that John knew these people.

She was invited by friends of friends, could John have been invited directly, and not by her?

All at once she could not help but noticing how this really wasn't her crowd. If it hadn't been for her friends she would have been somewhere else. John and she were attending the same party for the first time, yet she felt they could not have been further apart.

Claire headed for the door. She had decided she would walk straight past John and ignore him. She wanted to go home. Abruptly she felt a hand on her arm; it was one of her girlfriends asking where she was going. Claire panicked and said she had to go to the bathroom, and headed upstairs.

The second floor was a long hallway with many rooms, but all the doors were closed. To the left was the bathroom, and to the right the hallway ended in an open door to the balcony.

The bathroom was occupied. Claire felt she had to get away, and she tried one of the closed doors. It led to a study.

"Claire."

She froze in the doorway and turned around. John was standing at the top of the stairs. He had a cheeky look in his eyes, and gave her a crooked smile. Then he turned his head and looked downstairs.

"Someone's coming."

He quickly walked over to her and closed the door behind them. They leaned on the door listening for a small crowd of people coming up the stairs. They could hear them talking, but they could not make out what they were saying or recognize any of their voices.

"What if they're coming in here?" Claire whispered.

At the same time they both looked down at the door, but the door had no lock. They looked up at each other.

"We'll just hold the door." John whispered back.

He leaned heavy on the door. Claire joined in. She was holding her breath.

This time she wasn't doing anything bad yet it would be the end of her if anyone found them together behind a closed door upstairs at a party. The entire school would relish in it. People who didn't even know her would know about this.

John took a sip of his beer and offered her some. She shook her head.

"If any occasion is a good one for beer, trust me, it's this one."

She took a sip. It tasted bitter, but delightfully cold.

"How many have you had?" she asked.

"This is my second."

A puzzled expression came over his face as he looked at her.

"Did you think I would drink a lot of beer when I was going to meet you?"

The people outside the door were leaving; they could hear their voices fade as they walked back downstairs. John was holding his breath listening attentively to the last of the voices.

Then he looked at her.


	3. Chapter 3

A devilish smile came upon his face. His hazel eyes looked directly at her, and again she had the feeling that he could see right through her. It made her blush.

"Pick a room with a lock next time."

Before she could reply he leaned down and kissed her mouth. His lips were feverishly hot, and in his kiss she felt the same demanding undertone. Like a distant warning it told her that this was a man who would never be satisfied with just kissing her. He wanted more, he wanted to possess her, and her girly ways were to no good use. It felt frightening and made her tremble, yet the fire inside her made her do nothing but to kiss him back.

He placed the beer he had in his hand on the shelf behind her, and reached for her face. His hands were in her hair and he pulled her even tighter, becoming greedy in his kiss. His tongue was playing rough in her mouth and triggered a pulsing heat to spread throughout her body.

She could no longer hear the faint music from downstairs, she had forgotten that the room had no lock; all she heard was John's breathing. Her senses were overtaken by his touch, his kiss and the scent of his skin.

Claire freed herself from his mouth, and kissed his jaw, down his neck and pulled at his tee so she could reach his collarbone. She let her tongue glide from his collarbone up to his earlobe and sucked it into her mouth. It created an explosive response.

John groaned and pushed her against the wall. The beast was back and seized her mouth with such fierce it took the breath out of her. His hand slid underneath her blouse and cupped her breast with such intensity it was on the brink of being painful. His other hand hoisted up her skirt and grabbed her naked thigh.

This time it didn't scare her. This time she wanted him to reach further up her thigh, to reach where she was warm; where she was aching for his touch.

She was holding on to his neck, pressing her hips against him. He moved his hand down her thigh until the tip of his fingers found the fabric of her underwear. He lingered. She opened her eyes.

John's eyes were dark and smoldering. He gradually moved his hand to the back of her panties, and slowly let his fingers slip underneath the elastic edge.

He was watching her with a hypnotic stare as his fingers trailed the edge of the underwear, from her bum to her thigh, to the front where she was warm and waiting. She closed her eyes and gasped at his touch.

At that moment the door opened.

It was only for a fraction of a second but it was enough to stop them both. They could hear mumbling of the room already being taken, and a woman giggle. Then they heard another door open, and then close.

They had not seen who opened the door, and whoever it was could not have seen them.

John gave a nervous laugh but Claire was mortified. She straightened her skirt.

"Oh, my God, what if someone saw us."

The thought of being caught at what they had just done made her stomach turn. She felt exposed and embarrassed. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Hey, what's with the tears? No one saw."

"It's bad enough that your friends know what we did in the bathroom. If anyone…"

"No one knows what we did in the bathroom. My buddies were shocked you would even talk to me. They would never have believed me even if I told them."

He looked at her with a solemn look.

"Hey, you're turning into a raccoon."

The remark made her laugh. She wiped her eyes and composed herself. She glanced at her watch; it was close to her curfew. She opened her purse and took out a small mirror and corrected her make-up. As she carefully applied her coral shaded lip stick, she looked up at John.

"I have a red shade at home. It's outrageously red."

A flirty look came into his eyes and he grinned at her. She looked at her wrist one more time.

"I have to get home."

"I think I know a way for us to get out of here without being seen."

John opened the door to check that the coast was clear. Then he took her hand and quickly led her through the hallway out to the balcony. Outside the night was dark and chilly. John looked down over the railing. The backyard was empty. He turned to her with a daring look.

"It's only a small climb. I'll catch you half-way down."

Claire found herself nodding her head in disbelief. Climbing down from the balcony, was he insane?

Despite her doubts, her butterflies approved. It would feel exciting to escape the party with John. It was crazy, but right now she felt she would have done anything with him. It felt pretty good to be bad.

John climbed with ease over the railing, he grabbed hold of the pipe that went along the side of the house, and descended downwards to the ground below. He stood close to the wall and looked up, waiting for her to come down.

Claire carefully climbed over the railing, checking that her skirt stayed down at the same time. Her arms were shaking from her weight, and her hands were trembling when she grabbed hold of the pipe. It felt secure enough, but the surface was smooth and she was afraid her hands would slip. She descended downwards with difficulty and nearly lost her grip at the end, before John caught her in his arms. He was strong, and his arms and chest felt like solid rock when she leaned into his embrace.

Safe on the ground they hurried through the backyard onto to the road, making sure they weren't seen.

Claire could not believe what she had just done. She was doing things she had never in her life even imagined she would do. Still she felt good about it. It was like she was dreaming and anything seemed possible.

John walked her home. It was about a 30 minute walk, and they were holding hands and talking. They talked about what they liked and didn't like in terms of music, movies, teachers, people they knew, and life in general. What they didn't talk about was the two of them or any plans for the future.

Sometimes they stopped and kissed, and every time it was hard to stop so by the time they got to her house it was past her curfew.

"This is where I live."

Claire motioned to a well-lit two story house with a double garage and a driveway paved with cobblestone. It had a well-kept lawn with large flowerbeds and fruit trees.

"Wow, you ritchies…"

"My room is the one up there with the pink drapes." Claire pointed.

John looked at the house and where her room was. He then swallowed and cleared his voice.

"Claire, I have something for you." He rolled his eyes. "It's stupid."

He reached for his inside pocket and took out a cassette tape. The tape had no cover and it looked old and worn. It had marks form tiny white stickers that had been ripped off from many recordings in the past. On the newest white sticker it was written with a thick red marker pen _CLAIRE._

"There are some songs on this I now know you won't like." He smiled a little embarrassed as he handed her the tape. "But they all make me think of you."

Claire was speechless. She looked at John and knew she wanted him more than ever before. She did not want to say goodbye. She wished the night would never end.

She opened her mouth to say something, but John leaned down and covered her mouth with his. It felt more mind-blowing than ever before, she felt a need for him so strong she was considering not to come home at all. He had his arms around her, his hands in her hair. She was quivering all over and it was not because of the cold.

John was a man who wanted more than just kisses and holding her hand, and she felt she was willing to do whatever he asked. She wanted him so much she could not think straight. It was a deep rooted yearning inside of her.

Claire moved her hand to the bulge of his pants, trying to feel the outline of what was underneath. John gasped. He buried his face in her hair and whispered into her ear with his husky voice:

"I can climb up to your room. Real easy."

Claire could not speak. Her heart was racing too fast for her to speak. She just looked at him and nodded her head. She hurried home.

It took a whole hour until Claire was up in her room and could turn on the lights. Her parents had grounded her for the rest of the weekend and the next one for being late. Claire could not care less.

She went over and opened her window and stared out into the dark. It was calm and the sky was starry.

She wondered if he still was out there. She could not see him. Hopeful she left the window open and sat down on her bed. A light breeze blew at her curtains. She waited. Several minutes went by. Then she heard him.

He came in through her window like a burglar in the night. He was agile and quiet. The sight made her feel a little uneasy. When he entered her room they did not speak a word to each other. They both listened for her parents, worried that they might have heard him. But the house was quiet.

Claire closed the window and the drapes. She tiptoed over to the door, and very slowly she turned the lock, making sure to avoid the click. She could feel John move behind her, and it gave her goose bumps. The image of having a demonic beast lurking behind her suddenly sprang to mind.

She turned off the ceiling light; leaving the room in the soft glow from the lamp on her nightstand. He was right behind her; she could feel him breathing down her neck. His hands came up from behind, cupping both her breasts, pulling her in so tight she could feel his bulge against her bum.

She felt nervous. Her heart was pounding. Had she given him promises she could not keep? What would he do if she suddenly said no?

She turned around.

John's eyes were dark as ponds in the night. He had an intense burning look, like he had flames inside ready to devour her. Claire felt naked and vulnerable in his gaze; like he knew her innermost secrets. He slowly leaned forward and she felt hypnotized.

He closed his eyes, and when his lips met hers they were warm and soft. The kiss sent a lightning bolt down her spine. Then he pulled away from her mouth. His eyes remained closed. She could feel his breath on her skin.

It felt like a question, like he wasn't sure how she felt about him. Encouraged by the tenderness Claire kissed him. It was like igniting a fire. John must have waited for her to respond.

He pulled her so close she almost whimpered at the force. He pressed his lips against hers. His tongue found its way into her mouth and claimed her response.

They moved backwards from the door. John lay her down on the bed and leaned over her, placing his body between her legs. Her skirt slid up and exposed her bare thighs. His pants felt rough against her skin and the light fabric of her underwear.

She could see the wild beast in him; dark and dangerous. It wanted her. It hungered for her. He leaned down and engulfed her mouth. She had never felt anything so intense. Her legs wrapped around his back, her fingers went through his hair.

John ripped off her top and pulled down her skirt. She was trembling when he removed her bra. He pulled his tee and shirt over his head, and half-naked he stared wickedly at her breasts.

He bent down and she moaned when his warm mouth covered her nipple, his hand kneading the other. His lips were back to her mouth again. His hands moved over her thigh, under her bum, lifting her up towards where he was hard. He was breathing heavy.

With one swift move he undid his pants, and then there was nothing between them but their underwear. She could almost see the outline of him. He maneuvered himself on top of her, and through the thin fabric she felt him solid for the first time. He moved his hips back and forth, slow and deliberately.

It scared her a little yet she pressed her hips against him, urging him on. She wanted more. She slipped her hand inside his underwear. He was scorching hot and hard. He was bigger than she had imagined without her really having any expectations.

John's reaction was instant. He grabbed her underwear and pulled it off along with his own.

He pushed her knees up and pressed his full size inside of her. She whimpered at the force. Being a virgin she had expected some resistance but there was none.

He stretched her arms over her head, entwining his fingers in hers. He covered her lips with his own, ravishing her mouth with his tongue.

She felt him thrust hard into her as if he could not reach deep enough. She wanted him even deeper. Her hips met each of his thrusts with the same flaming desire.

Her hands came free and she scratched at the back of his neck, sinking her nails into his flesh. Her hands moved over his body, taking in every inch of him.

His mouth was close to her ear and she heard his breathing increase rapidly before the peak.

He muffled her cry with his hand and moaned into her neck as he came.

The night was still hours away from sunrise.

Claire was catching her breath. She was staring at the ceiling. It had an orange glow from her bedside lamp. It was the same ceiling she had been staring at since she was six years old and her parents had moved to Shermer, yet it had changed. Everything had changed. John lay heavy on top of her, still inside of her.

He raised his head and looked at her and smiled. The beast had subsided and he had a content look on his face. He touched her lips. He kissed her before he grinned and rolled over on his back.

"I can't call you cherry anymore."

She covered her face in her hands and laughed out loud. She rolled over on her side and looked at him. He looked amazing. She bit her lip.

"What will you call me?"

She made a trail around his nipples with her fingernail.

"Girlfriend"

It sounded somewhere between a statement and a question. He moved his eyes to look at her.

Claire bit her lip again. She was undecided. She was in love with John. At the same time she was not ready to stand trial for her choices. So many things had changed in so little time. Her friends would never approve of John as her boyfriend. They would freeze her out. Being popular or not being popular depended on doing the popular choices. She knew some of her friends would not care, but they would never dare to stand up for her. She would be an outcast.

"Can we keep it a secret a little while longer? I promise not to ignore you, I…"

"Sweets, you couldn't ignore me if you tried!"

He laughed and rolled on top of her. He shuffled her legs apart and wrapped them around his back. He had a flirtatious look in his eyes. She felt a movement. Her eyes widened.

"Is that..? Are you... -again?"

John nodded his head for each of her questions. He leaned down and kissed her, setting her lips on fire. Claire caught a glimpse of the beast lurking behind his eyes before she surrendered herself to him.

The night had faded away and dawn was threatening to break, the second time they were catching their breath and staring at the ceiling.

"I have to go soon. I need to be home before my dad gets up for work."

Claire was thinking of what her neighbors would say if they saw a boy sneak out of her bedroom window on a Saturday morning.

"I can get you out downstairs. My parents are heavy sleepers."

"Now you tell me."

He turned his head and looked at her with sly eyes. She gave him a crooked smile.

They got dressed and snuck downstairs. Outside the first early blush of light had started to show, and her street was still sleeping. Claire was only in her woolen socks and an oversized tee. She was freezing standing in the doorway.

John pulled her into his arms. He kissed her and stopped her shivers. He looked into her eyes and she felt she could drown.

"Good-bye, Claire."

"Good-bye, John."

It was clear that none of them wanted to part. At last John turned around and walked away. Claire followed him with her eyes until he was out of sight.

Then she closed the front door. She leaned her back against it. She inhaled deeply before she broke out in a small victory dance. She could not believe what had happened. She would not be able to fall asleep!

_The end?_

This is suppose to be the end of my story, but I'm so undecided.

It's been such a thrill writing about Claire and John, and I am dying to now what will happen next, so my head is spinning with ideas.

Besides I would love for Claire to explore more of her new found realm of sexuality with John...

_-Jade_

_I have made my decision! More is coming. And by the way, I had posted my 3rd chapter WAY too fast, so I had to make some changes. It badly needed editing...  
_


	4. Chapter 4

Claire went up to her room. She looked at her bed. Would she ever look at that bed and not think of John? She buried her face in the sheets. They still smelled like him and she breathed in the scent. She rolled over on her back and stared at the ceiling and smiled. Her butterflies had made a permanent residence in her stomach.

She slept until noon and woke up in anguish. The whole night before seemed at distance and her memories seemed crude in the harsh daylight. She felt ashamed and guilty for what she had done and how she had felt. In the light of day her behavior seemed reckless and stupid. But in spite of regrets she knew she would have done it all over again.

Claire took a shower.

After she had toweled off she stood naked in front of the bathroom mirror. She looked at herself and realized that she was no longer a virgin, nor would she ever be again. She carefully examined herself for marks that would be evidence but found none. It didn't show on the outside. Did it show on the inside?

She leaned close to the mirror and took a deep look into her brown eyes. She saw no difference. It dawned on her that this was what John saw when he looked at her. She was wondering what she looked like when she looked at him.

She closed her eyes and pictured him laughing. It made her smile. She opened her eyes and looked at her own smiling face.

Then she closed her eyes again and this time she thought of last night. She felt a surge of lust. She opened her eyes and leaned in so close her lips were almost touching the mirror. Her pupils had dilated and made her eyes appear darker and deeper. It was like she was lit from inside by an inner glow. She whispered John's name and slowly kissed the mirror. Then she realized what she was doing and blushed in embarrassment.

The day was uneventful.

She had dinner with her parents and afterwards she went up to her room to play the tape that John had made for her. Knowing it was songs that John liked, it made her listen with interest. Many of the songs she had heard before but never noticed. Some of the songs were romantic and nice, but others were noisy and heavy. She had not expected the variety, and was a little confused that he had made this for her.

When she went to bed she still had not heard from John. She was disappointed and troubled. What if she had the whole thing wrong, what if he had only seen her as a conquest? She pictured him at some drunken party bragging to his friends about how he had popped her cherry. Claire shook off the thought. John would not do that to her.

She had not slept for long when she was suddenly awakened by a sharp snickering sound coming from her window. It was tiny pebbles being thrown at the glass. She hurried up and looked outside. John was standing on the lawn. She opened the window.

"What are you doing." She whispered as loudly as she dared. She was thrilled to see him.

"I had to see you. Do you want to go somewhere?"

"Where?"

"Anywhere."

She nodded her head with enthusiasm.

"I'll be right down."

Claire closed the window. The clock on her nightstand showed a quarter to one in the morning. Her parents were asleep. She got dressed and put on her make-up. Outside her parents' bedroom she could hear her mother's steady snoring.

She stood still trying to decide if leaving the house in the middle of the night without anyone knowing was something she was capable of. She knew it was bad and a tiny voice inside her whispered that she might regret this but she dismissed it. It was impossible to resist him. She quietly left the house.

The night was utterly silent.

The pavement had a thin layer of frost that made it look like it was covered in tiny rhinestones. They walked with arms entwined. She had her fingers entwined with his inside his warm jacket pocket. The air felt rich and magnetic.

"I loved the tape."

"No you didn't."

"No, I didn't." Claire laughed. "But there were two songs I really liked."

She opened her bag and took out her walk-man. It didn't take her long to find the first song, even though she had to fast-forward and rewind a couple of times. She gave him the headphones. He listened attentively.

"It's Bob Dylan. _Lay Lady Lay_."

Claire tried to find the other song but gave up. She tried humming it and sang the refrain. John started to laugh.

"That's _Time After Time_ with Cindy Lauper. Haven't you heard that one?"

Claire shook her head.

"I've only heard her other song. You like Cindy Lauper?"

"Got to love Cindy. She's hot."

John took the walk-man and winded the tape back to the beginning.

"It's another song on here that's really cool."

He gave her the headphones and waited for her reaction. Claire listened and felt her cheeks go flaming red.

"It's _Fuck Like A Beast_ with W.A.S.P." He grinned.

"It's too noisy. I can't hear what they're saying." Claire put the walk-man away.

"I knew you would hate it."

"Then why did you put it on there?"

"It made me think of you. How much you would hate that song."

"So you listened to that song, and you thought about how much I would hate it, and then you gave it to me?"

"I think about you all the time, Claire."

"But it doesn't make any sense."

"It makes perfect sense. I heard the song, I thought about you. I gave you the song so we could have something to talk about, and now we're talking."

He stopped to turn around and face her.

"I was going to give you that tape Thursday at school. But then I got distracted…"

He lowered his gaze to her body and a sly smile crept upon his face.

Claire pretended to be insulted and playfully punched at him.

John took his arms around her. He pulled her close in his embrace. He had put on after-shave. She didn't recognize the brand, but it smelled nice. She inhaled deeply. She opened her eyes at the same time as he, and all the memories of last night flashed in her mind. Their lips met in a slow and dwelling kiss, full of shared memories and longing.

Then Claire took a deep breath.

"What do we do on Monday?"

"Are we already making plans for Monday? Whatever happened to Sunday? Did it get cancelled?"

"You know what I mean."

"I know you want to keep us a secret. And I don't want to talk about it because it pisses me off!"

"You don't understand. You don't have a reputation to watch..."

"You mean your reputation at High School. It's is not the center of the universe, Claire. Who gives a fuck about your reputation at High School? What matters is who you are!"

He raised his voice for last three words, putting pressure on each of them. Claire bit her lip. She felt scolded. She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. They kept on walking.

A lone car came along. All the sudden it stopped. It was a red Honda with four guys in it. It was dirty and in the dirt was written the phrase _wash me_, underneath it was written _fuck you_.

John ran over to the car. He leaned down and talked to the guy in the front seat. Then he motioned for her to come over. Claire just stood on the side of the road. John ran back to her. He had a big smile on his face.

"Don't you want to go?"

"Where?"

"Wherever!"

Then he looked at her mockingly.

"You don't have to worry about your precious reputation around these guys. They don't go to high school. You're safe."

Safe was the last she felt when she got in the car with four guys she had never met before, but there was no other way. She had to know more about John, about his life and friends. She could not resist having a peek at the crazy world he brought with him. It was like peeking into an alternate universe.

The guys seemed alright. They were discussing where to go and shared a joint. She sat on John's lap since they were one too many in the car. He had a drag of the joint and passed it on to her. She shook her head. She felt nervous.

She became alert of how close her body was to his. Her legs were next to his legs, her thighs were aligned with his thighs and her back was leaning against his chest. He had his arms around her waist. It made her recall vivid images of last night and her mouth went slightly dry.

She turned her head and their eyes met. He tightened his grip around her waist. He had a knowing look in his eyes and gave her half a smile. She knew he was thinking of the same.

They drove to a house not too far from her neighborhood, but all the windows were dark. They sped up and kept on driving.

They came to a small house in a different neighborhood that had light in two basement windows. The rest of the house was asleep. They didn't ring the bell, but went straight in and down to the basement. Two of the guys from the car were carrying a case of beer between them.

The basement was like a miniature flat that consisted of three small rooms and a bathroom. The largest room had a couch and a table stacked with empty bottles and half full glasses. There was a full ashtray on the floor and some chairs. It was obviously at the end of the party, there were not many people left. Two girls were dancing to some music and a few guys were sitting around the table talking.

Claire felt misplaced. Without knowing she squeezed John's hand. He took his arms around her and kissed her cheek. It felt strange but nice to be with him in front of others. She was looking to see if anyone had a reaction to them but they all seemed indifferent.

They sat down on the couch. The music was turned up and beer was handed around. Claire took it all in with wide open senses; the music, the people, John talking to his friends and laughing.

A joint was passed around and this time she took it and inhaled. It left her light-headed. As her shoulders came down Claire joined the conversation around the table. She giggled out loud at times and surprisingly found she enjoyed herself.

All the sudden she noticed that John was staring at her with a canny smile. He leaned over and kissed her passionately. Claire was astonished, but the two girls applauded.

"Why did they do that?" Claire whispered into John's ear.

"They're happy for us." He whispered back.

He took her hand and got up and walked her out of the room. She felt it a little embarrassed to openly be leaving like that. She turned to see if anyone noticed but none of the others seemed to care.

He walked her into one of the smaller rooms. It was tiny and consisted of a desk and a single wooden bed. It had no window and as soon as the door was closed the room became pitch-black. Claire could not see at all, not even an inch in front of her and it made her feel dizzy.

John pulled her tight and his lips found hers in the dark. She could feel the heat radiating from his body. She slipped her hand under his shirt and felt his back. His skin was warm and smooth to touch.

He pulled her even tighter in the darkness and moved her over to the desk. He lifted her up with ease. He cupped her face in his hands and deepened the kiss. She could feel a slight tremble within him. His tongue felt light and silky in her mouth. She moved her hands to his chest, touching his nipples, feeling her way down to his waist.

His breath increased and he was trembling. She could feel he was restraining himself. She placed her fingertips teasingly within the top of his pants and pulled him closer.

John grabbed her and pulled her tight. One of his hands held the back of her head so her lips could not escape him, the other went under her jumper like he was desperate to feel her naked skin. His kisses were forceful and she gasped for air. His hands went for the buttons in her pants, but she stopped him.

Claire wished they were somewhere else; somewhere alone where he could rip her clothes off. But they had to slow down. They were both breathing heavy, trying to calm themselves.

John leaned his forehead onto hers. His breath was still hot on her face. She could hear his whispering voice in the dark:

"You're driving me crazy."

There was a sharp knock on the door that made them both jump. One of the guys shouted:

"Johnny, we're leaving."

In the car Claire still felt woozy. The ride home seemed much too short. It was early in the morning, and she knew they had to say goodbye. She wished it wasn't so. She wished he could come upstairs and they could sleep in each other's arms. She hated being a teenager. She hated living someone else's life.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a Sunday unlike any other Sunday she could ever remember. Claire felt overwhelmed with everything that had happened. She did not feel like talking to anyone and she stayed in her room almost the entire day.

She was lying on her bed writing her diary, trying to make some sense of it all. Her world had been turned upside down. Clearly she was not who she had always thought she was. Within a short week she had broken all the rules. She had crossed some boundaries she would not have thought possible. How would she go back to her old life? What would she tell her friends? What about her parents?

They had given her a hard time on Friday when she was late. She could hear her father:

"_We have raised you to make good choices for yourself, and when we allow you to go to a party it is on certain terms. One is no alcohol and the other is that you respect your curfew. Now, is this about that boy I saw you with last Saturday?"_

Her father had not once mentioned John kissing her in front of the car after last week's detention. She had not spoken of it either. But the remark had made her mother go off her rocker:

"_What boy? See this is what I'm talking about. You don't share anything! And now you're withholding crucial information about our daughter? We are two people in this marriage."_

Then they had been screaming at each other before they grounded her. They had also told her that if she had a _friend_ they would be delighted to meet him, but she was not to sneak around like that. Her parents had no idea of what she had been up to. Thank God. She planned to keep it that way.

Tomorrow would be Monday and she would have to face her friends at school. They would ask why she disappeared on Friday. Claire did not have a good answer to that. However she put it, the question of why she chose to walk home was so out of her character that no one would believe it. They would guess that she had met a boy. They would know that she had been holding out on them. There was no way around it. What would she tell them?

They would die if they found out it was John. It would make them feel she wasn't one of them anymore. They would say that she had changed. And she had. She had changed. She felt that she did not belong, -anywhere. She already felt like an outcast. She didn't know who she was anymore, but it was not little miss do-as-you-are-expected.

In her diary she drew a big heart and in it she wrote _John_. He had not called her today, but by now she knew he would not call. He would find a way to meet her again. It might not be today, but it would happen.

She put the tape he had given her in her cassette player and turned up the volume. The first song on the B-side was by Foreigner. It was something about a guy who had waited to meet the right girl, and now he had.

She wondered if John liked that song because of the lyrics, if he felt that he had met the right girl. He said that she was his girlfriend, but what did that mean? School would be finished in June. Then what? He wasn't going to college; at least she didn't think so. She had applied to a few, but she didn't know where she would be accepted. It might be far away.

The next song was by Mötley Crüe. She turned the volume down and smiled and shook her head. Her crazy boyfriend had made her a selection of songs to hate.

Claire got ready for bed. For the first time in her life she dreaded going to school in the morning. She tried to push it out of her mind, tried to think of something else. She thought of John.

She missed him. She missed being in his arms, kissing him, touching him. She missed talking to him. No one had ever spoken to her like John did.

"_Who gives a fuck about your reputation at High School? What matters is who you are."_

His eyes had been so intense, they had that flame within them, and she knew he was right. Why was she concerned with what others thought of her? Why was it so important that everybody liked her? High School would be over soon and she would move on. She would start college. She would be a grown-up, and then what?

Her thoughts wandered further back that night. She could clearly hear his voice in her head:

"_I think about you all the time, Claire."_

She was wondering if he was thinking of her at this very moment. She looked at her clock on the nightstand. It was half past eleven. Was he in bed? She tried to picture his room. It was difficult as she didn't even know what his house looked like, little less where he lived. He might not even be home. But he wasn't there with her, so what if he was at home? What if he was thinking of her? Was he wishing that she was there with him? Like she wished he was there with her.

An image formed in her mind of him lying in a bed in a gloomy room. The room would be small and the only source of light would be the street lights from outside.

She could picture him lying on his back alone in his bed. The covers would be pushed to the side. His smooth chest would be visible. She could see the muscles showing under his skin. His nipples would be hard. He would be thinking about her. His breath would be shallow. His head would be tilted slightly back. His lips would be parted. She could picture the muscles in his chest slightly move in the dim light. She could picture his broad shoulders tensed.

In her mind she traced the line of his arm, from his shoulder to his triceps, to his under-arm, all the way down to where his hand was. He would be thinking about her and touching himself.

His arm would tighten even more. His mouth would open. His hand would move faster. His breath would become short gasps. Then his face would contract like he was in pain. His body would spasm, and he would try not to make a sound as his breath pumped out of him in pulsing strokes.

The thought was so forbidden Claire felt her cheeks burn in the dark. But she didn't let her inner sight go. The image made her twist and turn in her bed. She wanted to see him come that way. She wanted to be the object of his desire, the lead in his fantasies. It felt breathtaking.

Monday the sun was shining from clear blue sky. It was early April and spring was in the air. Claire saw John as soon as she arrived at school. He was outside on the benches with a group of guys. He had his jacket off and his shades on. She wondered how many times she must have walked by him and his friends in the past and never noticed them.

John turned his head her way and she knew he was looking at her. It made her heart skip a beat. He did nothing to acknowledge her presence. She did nothing to acknowledge his. No one around them noticed a thing. It was their secret.

Her friends greeted her. Claire had dreaded this moment, but it turned out quite differently than she had expected. Her friends had fresh gossip from the party last Friday, and they were dying to share it with her.

Apparently a girl had been caught upstairs with a guy. Claire thought back on the door that had opened upstairs. She remembered a girl giggling. The girl's boyfriend had been downstairs when it happened, and they had broken up, and it had been quite the drama.

This was where Claire was asked whatever had happened to her since she had missed it all. She said that she had been ill and walked home. Her friends just kept on talking and Claire felt astounded.

She had expected reactions. Didn't they know her? She had just told them a lie and they didn't even flinch.

She listened to them all share stories of what the poor girl had been up to upstairs, and it got more and more explicit by the minute. They all agreed that such a girl was a slut, and that she would have let any guy who came along take advantage of her. They ended up in conclusion that the girl in question had low self-esteem and that was why she felt the need to demean herself that way, and that they in fact should feel sorry for her.

They all nodded their heads with concerned faces, but Claire could see their eyes bright with malice.

She bit her tongue. She felt like screaming yet at the same time she was sorely aware that the girl could have been her. She could have been the gossip of the school this morning. Oh, she was sure they all would have felt so sorry for her that she had let John Bender have his way with her.

She felt a fury growing inside at the injustice. No one knew the real story of the boy and the girl; perhaps they were no different than John and she. Yet the rumors were all around school, on everyone's lips.

Claire was deep in thought for the rest of the day. She kept a distance to her friends. They didn't seem to take any notice.

Only one of the girls asked her before the last period if something was going on, but Claire just blamed it on her parents. She said that they were on the brink of divorce and that it frightened her. It was in part true, but it was no secret. She kept her secrets close to heart.

She did not see John again that day, even though she was constantly on the lookout.

On Tuesday she took detours to every class in hope of running into him. Tuesday night she slept with her window open in case he came by, but he didn't.

Wednesday she was climbing the walls. Where was he? Why didn't he come around? When they had said goodbye on Sunday morning she had never believed she would not talk to him for days.

It felt like an ordeal. In one moment she was happy in love, exhilarated by the thought of him. The next she was sad and confused, questioning every side of their relationship. Her mood would sometimes shift within the span of an hour. There was no escape.

John was lurking in every corner of her mind. Whatever she did or wherever she turned he was hunting her thoughts. She was obsessed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for reading my story and for all your great reviews! **

**I have the end planned out now, but it's still some chapters away. **

**_-Jade_**

It was Thursday at school and Claire was sitting in French class listening to her teacher Miss Bonnet. French was her favorite subject but Claire had a hard time concentrating. She loved the language and she loved the romantic notion of Paris. Many times she had drifted away in class dreaming about Montre Matre and the Eiffel Tower. Today all her dreams involved John.

After class Claire stayed behind and talked to Miss Bonnet. Claire had her study hour straight after French class and lunch after that. She liked to talk to Miss Bonnet who had lived half her life in France. She loved listening to her stories, and Miss Bonnet didn't seem to mind sharing. They walked out of the classroom and Miss Bonnet was locking up the door when Claire saw John.

He was leaning against the wall opposite. He was wearing jeans and a worn red shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Under it he had a grey T-shirt. Claire drew a quick breath of air that made Miss Bonnet look at her before she followed her stare and looked at John, and then back to Claire. She gave Claire an eloquent look, raising her eyebrow ever so slightly before she walked away leaving the two of them to themselves. Claire listened to the click of her heels down the hallway and out the doors. The hallway was left empty except for John and her.

Claire was clutching on to her school bag. She felt threatened by John's presence. She was nervous that someone would come along and see the two of them together and reveal their secret, yet at the same time her heart felt ecstatic to see him. She did not know whether to throw herself around his neck or to run away, so she stood still doing nothing.

John had a devilish look in his eyes. He walked slowly over to her and circled around her. He reached out and touched strands of her hair, and his fingers accidently brushed across her neck. She shivered. Then he closed his hand over her neck and yanked her in and shoved his tongue into her mouth. The kiss was so brutal that for a moment she felt she could not breathe. It was on the brink of being unpleasant.

He whispered into her ear:

"You can't leave me like you did on Sunday and then not talk to me on Monday. I go insane, Claire."

His voice was dark and harsh. His body felt electric when he was that close to her. Still she had a lot of questions.

"Where have you been? I haven't seen you for days."

"My dad found my stash."

She looked at him with confusion. He seemed uncomfortable at what he was about to do, but nevertheless he lifted up his T-shirt and revealed a large bruise at the bottom of his ribs on the right side of his torso.

"Complements from his boots."

Claire's mouth fell open. John looked at her with a defiant look. His eyes were murkier than usual; the hazel color was prominent over the green. They had a sorrow within them she had not seen before. It was pain she observed but could not comprehend. The only thing she knew was that she had never had that feeling she could detect within his eyes. She did not know what to say. She felt desperate to somehow make it better.

Claire grabbed his face with both her hands and kissed him hard on the mouth. She kissed him again and he responded. His tongue found its way into her mouth and this time the kiss was filled with desperation and love. For a moment she did not care if anyone saw them, but then his vulnerability was fading and his kiss became more demanding.

He pushed her against the wall. Her schoolbag fell to the floor. She wanted to be near him, but she was terrified of being seen. His kisses were hot on her skin, leaving her mouth for her ear and neck. His hands reached under her blouse to the naked skin on her back. She surrendered to his embrace, and his hands glided from her back up around to her bra.

"John, stop! Someone might see us."

"I don't care. I've missed you too much." His voice was throaty .

His hand was on her breast trying to get under the bra. His mouth found hers again in a riveting kiss. Her body betrayed her by responding all too well to his approach, but her response also frightened her. What if they got caught?

"John, please stop."

He stopped and looked at her. His eyes were fiery. His hand slipped down on the inside of her soft pants. She gasped in panic and grabbed at his hand trying to stop him, but he was much too strong. His fingers went under her underwear and inside of her. He gave a devious smile.

"You don't want me to stop."

Claire was painfully aware that he was right but she was also aware that they were at school and it was impossible to keep going. It could not lead anywhere. She wished they were somewhere else, where it was just the two of them.

"Not here." She said.

"Then come with me."

She knew better than to ask him where, instead she just followed. He led her through the hallway, down the stairs and into the corridor where they ran into a scrawny freshman they had never seen before. He was standing with his books in his hands and a puzzled expression on his face as they ran past him. Claire let out a giggle. John smiled and grabbed hold of her hand as they kept running as quiet as they possibly could until they stood in front of a steel door painted orange. John took out a metal gadget and put it in the door lock and fumbled with it.

"What's that?"

"It's a tension wrench. It picks locks."

"Where did you get that from?"

"I made it. In metal-shop."

The lock gave a click. John looked at her with an expression of pride and opened the door.

"After you, my lady."

They were in the gym. Claire entered the big hall. The door they had walked through was the fire escape. Claire was not sure if she was impressed or revolted. Her boyfriend could climb in windows at night and pick locks. He could even make the stuff one picked locks with.

He was by every definition the bad boy. No more doubt about that. Not marriage material was another phrase of her parents that sprung to mind. But she couldn't care anymore. She could not lie to herself. She had to admit it. She looked over at John and she could feel it; it turned her on.

John took her hand and led her across the room to the big crash mat in the corner. It was almost the size of a king size bed and the rubber cover was blue. Claire looked skeptical at the mat and around the room. All the doors seemed to be safely locked. Still she felt unsure.

"John, we can't do this."

"No one comes in here after 10 on Thursdays."

"You promise no one comes in here?"

He nodded his head slowly in an exaggerated manner. He was still holding her hand as he walked backwards to the crash mat, luring her along with a playful look in his eyes. Then he unexpectedly lifted her up, and threw her onto the mat and jumped on after. She gave a surprised scream that was reinforced by the room before she clasped both her hands over her mouth. The two of them burst out in a hysterical laughter, rolling over on the mat.

"I can't promise that no one comes in here if you'll scream like that!"

"Then don't do thing to me that'll make me scream."

"I can't promise you that either."

Their laughter faded. The room became silent. It was like they were the only people in the entire world and nothing existed outside the crash mat. They were staring at each other with anticipation. The air surrounding them was electric. Claire felt her heart racing. She could see John felt the same way.

She sat up and pulled her top off. He immediately did the same. Then she straddled his hips. She looked into his eyes as she unclasped her bra and let it slowly drop to the mat. She could see the beast lurking within his eyes, restrained. He seemed spellbound.

John lifted his hand and traced a line between her breasts up to her mouth. His finger followed the contours of her lips. Claire closed her eyes and opened her lips. He slipped his finger into her mouth. She closed her lips around it, and he slowly pulled it out. She heard him groan. She opened her eyes.

The beast was out of its shackles. He pulled her down to his mouth and kissed her with a savage passion. He grabbed her tight and rolled them over, so she was on her back. John let his tongue slide down to her breasts, sucking her nipple into his mouth, biting it lightly. He moved down to the lining of her pants and pulled them off along with her underwear.

He trailed kisses down her leg to her knee, and slid his tongue up along the inside of her thigh. Her hands came up automatically trying to stop him, but he grabbed hold of them and held them firmly. She did not really want him to stop. Instead she spread her legs further apart. She gasped as she felt his tongue. Claire felt embarrassed and tense yet when he moved his kisses up to her stomach, she wished he had not stopped.

His lips found hers in a frenzied kiss filled with hunger for relief. John ripped open the buttons in his jeans and pulled them halfway down his thighs. With a rapid movement he forced his entire length inside of her. She wrapped her legs around him. For a moment he squeezed his eyes shut and his head rested heavy on her forehead, pinning her head down. He drew in a ragged breath of air.

Then he got up on his knees, lifted her hips and held them in his grip as he thrust into her. She came seconds before him with a short scream. She opened her eyes to watch him groan as he came. He crumbled on top of her.

John rolled over and pulled up his jeans. The crash mat was sticking to her back. She watched him get dressed. He found her clothes and handed them to her. He looked at her and smiled. His eyes had that sweet look he sometimes had. She started to get dressed.

"John, what are we doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…this. We could have been caught. We took a huge risk."

"Life's not worth any without a risk."

She furrowed her brow. He didn't seem to understand what she meant. She tried to elaborate.

"One thing is rumors. We could have been expelled for this."

"If we'd been caught. We weren't."

She felt frustrated at his devil-may-care attitude. He might not care about school, but she had plans for her future, and they didn't involve taking unnecessary risks.

"You don't take anything serious! It's all so easy for you."

"No, Claire. You have it easy! You just don't see it. You can do whatever you want. You can be whoever you want. Everything is laid open for you. If your parents found dope under your mattress they would have sat you down and had a talk about it. Me, -I'm left in bruises."

Claire had not expected the outburst. He mouth fell ajar. He pulled his hands through his hair.

"I could have beaten the crap out of him. I'm big enough now, not like when I was fucking ten. But I swore I'd never do that. I fucking swore that a long time ago."

He sighed and sat down on the crash mat next to her. They were both quiet for a moment.

"I'm sorry, John. I wished there was something I could do."

He turned to her with a sudden shrewd look on his face.

"You can. You can tell your friends about us. Then we wouldn't have to sneak around for a quick fuck anymore, -not that I mind. You're my favorite fuck, Claire."

She gasped. He laughed. He had a taunting look in his eyes. She knew he was joking, but it still made her insecure.

"I'm the only one, right?"

He looked her deep into her eyes.

"You are the only one, Claire."

"But you've had others before me?"

"There've been others." He nodded his head.

"Where they different than me?"

"They were girls, Claire, they had names. Some of them I liked, some not so much."

He started to look uncomfortable, but Claire could not stop herself. She had opened Pandora's Box.

"But you've never felt the way you feel about me?"

He gave a sneering chuckle.

"Jesus, where's this coming from?"

"Just answer the question."

He looked at her with anger threatening in his eyes.

"What is this about, Claire? You know damn well how I feel about you."

Claire knew he was right. She was the one who wanted to keep them a secret. The one who was scared to be seen with him, ashamed to tell the world she was in love with him. He deserved more.

"I want us to go on a date."

"A date?"

He laughed and shook his head.

"Sure, we can go on a date. What kind of date were you thinking of?"

"Something simple. To start with."

"Yeah, I'll save the limo for later. How about a movie? Tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow is Friday. I'm grounded for the weekend."

"Then it'll be tonight. I'll pick you up at seven?"

"No, I'll meet you there. My parents won't let me out on a date on Thursday when I'm grounded for the weekend."

"So, you'll lie. You bad girl." He winked at her.

Claire was still giggling at his remark when she entered the classroom. Her friends asked where she had been, but she was evasive. No one had any idea at what she had done and it gave her a buzz.

At the next recess she saw John across the hall. He smiled at her. She immediately returned his smile before she looked around to see if anyone had seen their exchange. No one appeared to have noticed, and she took the liberty of meeting his eyes once more before she walked off.


End file.
